Daily subway portrait

"When God was a Women"

Sometimes if your open and available books just fall into your life that encapsulate everything you've been trying to process. In fact I would like to talk about creating a new genre of writing. Id like to call it Anthropological fantasy/fiction. Yes that will do. If I could do it all over again I would be an anthropologist. There is no time left for this now.....I've set other goals that will take the rest of my life. So I appreciate women who have done the research for me. Yes I know we should always do our own research but I'm taping into so many beliefs from so many cultures and as far back as ancient times that one just gets lost in the sauce. Remember I'm an artist first, which means I organize the chaos around me to form different ways of seeing. Truth or faith can never truly be fact anyway. Making sense of things is what makes us feel knowledgeable and the passion for our beliefs just gives stability in righteousness. In other words we believe in what we have the ability to believe in...not in the hardness of research, living against the norm, fighting against family tradition and now with the extensive perspective offered in this book, a systematic demolition throughout history to overthrow the Women place as original Creatress.

Portrait subway series

Original done in charcoal and water brush. Added magazine texture to re-image into a traditional head dress of ancient times.

Subway portraits concludes restart

Re focusing incorporates every aspect of life. Every thought, every action becomes an element in the process of output. Stages in writing seem to come in well balanced waves. I sit and absorb, with little judgement, for months... open....allowing life to simply happen the way it just does. Now the stage of preparation has begun. I have my palette of good and bad experiences filling my most colorful mixtures of chaos. Now it is time to pour.....taste....pour some more.....spit! Then take down the new recipe!

Re- seeing old Art Journal Pages

Don't feel creative. Don't want to get supplies out. Don't want to get messy. Dont have energy or time soooooo.......I thought I'd find some new backgrounds from getting up close to old work....with a new camera and......it's filters. This macro setting on the Camera Effects App for Androids is giving me new eyes. I will then use these parts in digital collages which have been fitting my mood lately.

Negative Thinking

I sit all lot trying to condense the things I don't want to do or that I have to do so that I have time to write. Im obsessed with the idea really. I'm so overwhelmed with this story. Connections happen daily that make me feel I'm on some super natural wave. I feel debilitating pressure most of the time. all of life gets in the way of writing this. But if I truly believe that this story was given to me to tell, I must then believe that whom ever gave it to me felt strongly that I could manage it. I doubt this daily as well....Its this constant time sucking argument I have. Neglecting my children, my husband, my friends what if it's never read. What if it doesn't mean anything and is not really important? Blahg......If I did not argue with myself debating and configing my precious time I would actually have more time. So knowing that why do I still feel the need to blog my issues. I want to be authentic. I want this process to be the truth. I want others to relate to how difficult our goals can be to achieve. I also spend all lot of time on others blogs....truthfully I'm a bit tired of the ultra "you can do it....you are a goddess" mentality out there. Don't get me wrong. I'm inspired constantly but I think I would appreciate a bit of truth and reality mixed in... you know the real road to your dream process. So I will attempt to be truthful here so you don't feel alone when you want to smack all the perfect blogging success stories.  So easy just do this and this and this and then you are a famous person with thousands of followers. I feel most of these blogs are done by women who don't have other jobs and could possibly be a bit self centered and egomeniacal. Remember ladies that we are probably more average then we'd like to imagine and that is great too. I'm not saying don't go for the great beautiful blog building thing, just remember you are human and probably a mom and a wife and a good friend with another job and can't just whip it together like it seems others can. (That was me talking to me!) I so want too but I can only do one thing (no I really mean 5 things) at a time. But my latest solution.......for my birthday my friend got me a Crock Pot....

How cute is my alibi though!

You can see my dilema......