When I was four I became aware that I may be different then the others. And even if it wasn't true, I wanted it to be so. I spent the next fifty years trying to define that feeling. I look back and well there isn't much difference between wanting to be different and being different. You create your destiny as it is destined. You just learn to pay attention better and learn coping skills for when your ego wants to over ride.
I started paying attention when I was four on the swing set. I loved, loved, loved swinging. This is where I became conscious of my first level of ambitious tendencies. "Higher..... higher!" Everyday chanting this. Teeth gritting desire wanting to be higher then the kid next to me. I practiced and became highest. I then felt capable to move to the next level. Life now is all about that swing. Forward.... Back....kicking forward....bending knees back. Every swing forward progressing...floating then backwards to save energy for the push to come. Closing my eyes, leaning back, trusting my legs would do the proper propelling as long as I did the work. I'm going back to that swing in a couple of weeks and only now do I now the reason why. I need to remember to pay attention to the steps of destiny and kick my ego to the side. I hope the swing doesn't break in reality or metaphysically. I'm much bigger now. Ha!
I started paying attention when I was four on the swing set. I loved, loved, loved swinging. This is where I became conscious of my first level of ambitious tendencies. "Higher..... higher!" Everyday chanting this. Teeth gritting desire wanting to be higher then the kid next to me. I practiced and became highest. I then felt capable to move to the next level. Life now is all about that swing. Forward.... Back....kicking forward....bending knees back. Every swing forward progressing...floating then backwards to save energy for the push to come. Closing my eyes, leaning back, trusting my legs would do the proper propelling as long as I did the work. I'm going back to that swing in a couple of weeks and only now do I now the reason why. I need to remember to pay attention to the steps of destiny and kick my ego to the side. I hope the swing doesn't break in reality or metaphysically. I'm much bigger now. Ha!
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